Next (2007)
I'm actually watching this right now, and without even waiting for it to finish, I can say without a doubt that it's an unmitigated disaster. I can't even take Cage seriously anymore after watching Wicker Man ("I'm a policeman! See ma' badge?"), but beyond that, wtf with the father-daughter romantic pairing with Jessica Biel? (Side note: someone really needs to upload her skydive from Stealth onto YouTube.) Why the continuing mullet-hair? Why is Julianne Moore confusing "hardass" with "irritating as balls"? Why do these Russian bomb terrorist dudes care if some Las Vegas magician sees two minutes into the future?
Deja Vu had a similar faux-sci-fi/action hybrid thing going, but that was enjoyably trashy. This sucks King Kong balls. I'll say "balls" again just to add some more balls for this movie to blow goats with.
Reviving Ian's "number of watch looks" scale for a moment, I'll say that I was watching the time constantly, which effectively brings Next's score to minus infinity.
Ugh, the hair.
EDIT: Just finished it. HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE wow. Just when I thought it couldn't have gotten any worse, it certainly up and did. That was a film-school exercise masquerading as a thriller. Really weird.
Deja Vu had a similar faux-sci-fi/action hybrid thing going, but that was enjoyably trashy. This sucks King Kong balls. I'll say "balls" again just to add some more balls for this movie to blow goats with.
Reviving Ian's "number of watch looks" scale for a moment, I'll say that I was watching the time constantly, which effectively brings Next's score to minus infinity.
Ugh, the hair.
EDIT: Just finished it. HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE wow. Just when I thought it couldn't have gotten any worse, it certainly up and did. That was a film-school exercise masquerading as a thriller. Really weird.
posted by Jon @ 7:39 PM
2 Comments:
At 11:56 PM,
Jienan said…
you know, this is what bittorrents were invented for. had i actually rented this film, i think i would've stabbed someone through the heart at the video store upon returning it.
i agree with everything you remarked but the most offensive part of the film for me was the moment when, and i'm not going to even dignify this flick with a 'spoiler alert', cage realizes that he was wrong ... his 'Now!' is the dullest... I mean, if you found out, an H-bomb was being detonated, would you really exclaim 'Now!' in the same manner as 'Hey, when will that pasta be al dente?'
'Now!' (insert sound of world exploding...)
and I'm really really really sick and tired of fake-out endings.
At 11:55 AM,
Jon said…
It was like the worst imaginable fake-out too! I mean, and Cage being like, "oh man I blew it" after being invincible for the whole movie. Why did he even shirk his duty at all if he was so invincible?
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