Mental... or M backwards e/backwards ntal

Ummmm.
I read a preview of this show that said it was bad.
It was pretty bad.
I worry though that by posting this bad review of a bad TV show might cause people to fall into the trap of following that trail that says, "No it's bad don't go this way." But then the innocent ends up thinking she can turn back at any moment. No. Not the case.
It raises questions like: Who are the inmates and who are the asylum keepers?
Who could have guessed that the main House-like new sheriff/doctor in town could have a deep seeded secret he's keeping from his colleagues?
Of course, why not drop a cancer plot point in because it's hospital and cancer changes lives? Was that a spoiler? No.
It was indicative of explaining everything away in the first episode so that we can get down to the nitty gritty of writing crazy people in normal situations and normal people in crazy situations and put the sexual tension over that which makes great TV.
Wrong.
As the kids say, "As the kids say, 'fail.'"
I like this post:
Viewing a TV death in 4 acts
And while we're at it...
In defense of distraction
Both come reposted from Arts & Letters Daily. They were far more valuable than the TV skull atrocity I watched. Just made that phrase up. I'll leave it to the pundits to decide what it means.

Monty Python's Spamalot

I must say that I was a bit skeptical of the quality of a touring performance of the acclaimed musical based on the acclaimed movie based on the legend of Arthur (all three bases noted as "loosely"). At one time in my brief existence on the this planet, I was a student of musical theatre. From that I gained appreciation for most of the production— lights and video and explosions of confetti; moving set pieces and bedazzled codpieces. All in all it can be handily described as "Fun."
The best jokes were the ones of topical Blow-goi-oh-vich nature inserted into the various French and Knights Who Say Ni tauntings. And I could appreciate the numbers and dances that referenced Fiddler, Cabaret, Phantom, Les Mis etc. Considering it was m'lady's first musical experience ever, some of those parodies may have been lost on her, though they were still amusing and she had fun.
And as much as I love parody and satire, I don't think I need a musical of the Meaning of Life, Life of Brian, or Flying Circus. In Spamalot, much of the dialog was lifted and the story was patched together to conveniently explain the enrollment of the knights in the round table, but they were leading me astray. I wholly expected certain Holy Grail elements that never materialized. It would have been spectacular to have a Black Beast of Arrgh!, but understandably did not appear. While I don't understand why I didn't get the shrill sound effect when The Ni Knights dictate the procurement of aaaaaa..... SHRUBBERY! (TREENNGG!)
Missing.
But for the lame missing parts, it was fun.
Richard Chamberlain, whose career spans something like 50 yrs, played Arthur. very. very. slowly.
Some of his dance numbers looked like group activities from a retirement home... without the daily servings of prunes.
Constipated bastards.

Cinematic Titanic: Dr. Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks - Live Dec. 20th '08

Because I'm likely at work still I will be brief.
If you ever thought that MST3K was the greatest thing in the world to air on TV, then you would have been happy to be part of the audience at the Lakeshore Theatre.
Timely comedic references (read contemporary as well as "good timing") mixed with a horrible mutant of a plot made for a fun evening.
Mr. Boone Harris of Elk Grove Village nearly wet his pants and went blind with his giggling school-girl laughter,—it was just the warm up act of TV's/DVD's Frank Conniff performing his tune "Convoluted Man"— drawing the curious stares from neighboring theatre patrons.
Granted it was not an insightful look into the creative process of smart-assery that made MST3K sub-popular, but it was still fun. More cherished was when Boone conveyed my question to creator Joel Hodgson, who along with castmates stayed to sign and chat with anyone willing to wait in line.
And in response to the question about "TV Wheel," they own the rights but who knows if it will come out. At least you can catch a glimpse of it on youtube if you look hard and don't tell too many folks.
P.S. Later that night we watch the DVD of Cinematic Titanic's "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," which some may remember as an MST3K episode, and still other may remember as one of Pia Zadora's first film roles. It's a no frills DVD that delivers funny. I highly recommend it for rainy days on the couch (read the darkness of my youth).

Speed Racer (2008)

Oh man. I will be the odd man out on this one, however I think that might be the charm or lure of Speed Racer. But I won't hate myself for really really enjoying this movie, and comments come what may.
It might be said that Hollywood has lost touch with how to tell a good story, and considering that most of the movie was shot in Germany, then it makes sense that this had the potential for a good story. The reason it has a good story though is not that it was produced in Germany but that maybe the Hollywood Machine found a niche market--- namely me.
I am a pop culture savvy late 20-something who fancies himself a weekend warrior who has tried sports ranging from Whirly Ball to Windsurfing--Table Tennis to Beer Pong. Most times though you will find me on my bike, on a pair of skis, or in (sudden major chord) a go-kart.
God please just keep reading, and it should make sense why I over looked all the slick graphic work to which I am generally opposed to hand crafted modeling.
I would never consider this to have been a remake, retelling, reiteration or redo. Naively I'm going to suspend my disbelief, as one must wholeheartedly do to enjoy the futurist perspective anyway, to say that this was an homage (glowing chorus of angles). Because each episode of the original was so formulaic and stretched to fit a 1/2 to 1 hour (some "To be continued..." episodes), one would think that there wasn't much to go on for 2+ hours of candy gloss mayhem. But Speed hits most of the points of the Racer Saga, with the specifics of the company Pops works for and his ring as a wrestling champ. I was the only one of the 7 people in the theatre who laughed because I have the episode on DVD where Pops has a flashback of his days mangling faces before taking on 5-8 thugs. Those little things made it that much more real.
Do I think the two beers I had between getting out of work and the start time of the movie made a difference? Yes. Because despite pre planning and eating a whole bag of popcorn (I splurged) I had to get up to let my water run 40 minutes in. Otherwise I may use my "get boozed first" designation.
Here's where I get sentimental.
===SPOILER(?)===
If by the end you don't feel for Speed and his family, you might not be human, or you have never tried to push yourself to do something at which you could fail. I put that warning in there despite the fact that I don't believe you can go to a movie about racing or competition without knowing that the protagonist will come out on top. Maybe it's my current life circumstances but by the end I got teary (not all out crying like when I saw Big Fish weeks after my grandfather died). Of course it might also have been that I went alone on a week night, but regardless. I couldn't help but think about all the racing movies I love and remember and recommend to the pantheon of which Speed Racer will be a part:
Downhill Racer 1969, Le Mans 1971, Wind 1992, and Without Limits 1998, and maybe Hidalgo 2004.
I will put one watch check in, not because I was wondering when it was over or when I could get a chance to piddle again, but because I wondered how were they going to fit a whole ralleye race in for the predictable big finish. I will also say that the kid who played young Speed was very mediocre compared to the kid that played Spridle. I suspended my disbelief that he was bad.

Beowulf 2007

So despite the fact that I am homeless and looking for a job, I decided to pay the extra ransom for a digital 3D exhibition. Further I never looked at my watch although I found it to be a bit self-indulgent and shall we dare say "Hollywoody"? But if Hollywood does one thing well it's being Hollywood...-y?
Any way if you glance down the page and find my review of "Nightmare" then you will understand the different dimension that 3D brings to this production. Having been produced in 3D and with that in mind all along, this show really takes full advantage of it. There was only one moment where I found it distracting when the camera was situated hidden behind some rocks looking down on a stylized nude of Jolie.
Nudity aside I thought that the script hits most of the points one analyzes in 300 level English Lit classes— Strings of epithets which detail historical occurrences, pride & boasting, bawdity (new word). So to see that all portrayed was great fun.
I was bummed that there wasn't more Malkovich, but as a quintessential American actor, he does a great job as a Dane who killed his brothers. Ray Winstone also did well and I appreciated the daring performance of a nude Anthony Hopkins as Hrothgar.
Wait wait wait!
Nude, he's animated! Or is he? Or isn't he? I can't tell. I'm so confused. And why does an animated feature need stunt doubles? I did notice at least one sequence where the background was live ocean. The only other problem I saw was that some objects the characters held seemed to be without mass- floating only molecules above a lap or miraculously held aloft by a single arm. Even the strongest of arms can show that an object has mass. Maybe it will teach people that if they are going to shoot in digital 3D, then they should only use live animation. That's why I can't wait until Brendan Fraser's Journey to the Center of the Earth. And by can't wait, I mean can't wait to gouge my eyes out by the very dragon pillaging sword of the hand of the kinkiller Unferth.
Yours,
Defiler of Virgins Purveyor of Meade Pummeler of Maidenheads
Rba

Spiderman 3 (2007)

I could basically rename this entry "James Franco is the greatest actor alive" because he truly is the star of the movie. The intensity, the tenacity, basically his superior histrionics propel this movie to heights unknown. But more on that later.

So this movie picks up where it left off as Spiderman being the hero of the city. So we got "feel good" Spidey at the start. And we all know what's gotta be done to people who feel full of themselves; you gotta kick them down a few notches. But seeing as this is a superhero movie, it's obvious that the Wallcrawler is able to elevate himself again. The path he takes to get there, I won't elaborate because that will spoil the movie. So just go and watch it whenever you got the time.

On the finer details of the film: Symbiote-Affected-Parker could possibly be the greatest character interpretation ever done by an actor. Parker, at that point in the movie, looks like he belongs in The Cure. The hair alone is worth the price of admission. But the way he carries himself has a certain savoir faire that all men strive to be. It really was both humorous and hard to watch at the same time.

But Tobey's performance is clearly outdone by James Franco, aka the greatest actor of our generation. The way he enjoys a slice of Pie made me want to eat pie right after the movie. And that face of his could have been inspired by the greek gods: with his wrinkly smile and severe ptosis, how can the ladies resist? But his acting, my God the acting, really made me believe again. Believe in what, I have no idea, but I believe.

But for a serious critique, there was one thing that I truly didn't like in this movie, Eddie Brock and the voice of Venom. Brock should be a prick with the build of a brick shithouse, not some jokey little douche. And then when he becomes Venom (if you didn't know that, sorry to spoil it for you) his voice should change when he IS venom. Seriously, nothing is more upsetting than Venom striking fear in your heart as he comes at you only to have all that intimidation disappear once you got Eric Foreman's voice talking to you. For goodness sake, couldn't they synth his voice more to make it scary? But the random shrills and the overall look of Venom was cool otherwise.

Overall, I was entertained by this movie. That, I can't deny. Though I did look at my watch once as it started to fell long in the middle. I'd say Spidey 2 remains the best in the series, probably because we had angsty Parker and not feel good Parker. And this movie had a ton of cheese in it, which is both a positive and a negative. I recommend watching it in the theaters just to see the fight scenes and such, but just one time only in theaters. This film does not merit multiple big screen viewings.