The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D 2007

So word 'round the medical clinic where I work was that this was a disappointment. So I went with some trepidation, but went none the less mostly because the original is one of my favorite movies of all time, from a time before digital animation took over. You can understand there was some irony then to take a movie shot with as little digital interference as possible to be re-released with 50% more dimensions!
If you go expecting, as I suspect my co-workers did, ghosts and ghouls and pumpkins flying out of the screen and leaving ecto-plasm on your face you will not be a happy camper. Although I wonder how happy you really would be with goo dripping down your glasses (you smudge those babies with your fingers and it's all over).
Because of the production design of the original, the skewed perspectives and disjointed architecture lend itself to the 3D retrofit. I was actively trying to be critical and only found a few spots that looked "We're already spending a ton of digital money on this, let's skimp on this one part toward the end so that we can melt faces near the beginning."
Instead I thought more about watching this story unfold as if in a fish tank. Granted it's a fish tank with many rooms. That diorama feel is perfect for such a fantasy. The design of floors, walls, and architecture and the way it moves with the camera is absolutely beautiful.
Maybe I appreciate Burton's design more than most—My English senior capstone project was on contemporary romanticism as evidenced by Tim Burton in film—but I think it is worth the extra $2 per ticket to see this translation of a great story and really timely for the season, and the next two months.
I give it no time checks because I was too busy singing along.
BTW
Guy Fawkes Day is Nov. 5: feel free with joining in me watching V for Vendetta or any other film that has to do with blowing up the English Parliament.

Solaris (1972)

This made for really good accounting midterm study avoidance. I did the "Rented Criterion DVD" special, where I watch a super-long art film and then start it over right away to watch the commentary. Good six hours in toto.

Innumerable watch checks but they don't count because I was watching at home and I got clocks everywhere. Also, Tarkovsky's whole aesthetic was to shoot entire scenes in one long take. Partly motivated by only having enough film to get a scene that way (necessity of course being the mother of invention), the result is a real feeling of the passage of time in each scene, which might be bad if your movie is Transformers but isn't bad if your movie is about three guys seeing ghosts on an enormous space station.

And there's a totally great five-minute scene of a dude driving through what's supposed to be the "city of the future," except it's 1972 Japan. The commentators said this may have worked for a totally alien, futuristic city from the eyes of a relatively backward Russian audience and culture, but Western viewers were probably really confused. The new spin on this is, Tarkovsky clearly seems to think there's something *wrong* with people becoming slaves to technology, but I'm all for it! More iPhones!

Gone Baby Gone (2007)

Quite similar to Mystic River, which isn't surprising since both are based on stories by the same author (Dennis Lehane). Casey Affleck looks pretty boyish to be hobnobbing with the stars of Boston's criminal underworld, but it helps that the other characters in the movie acknowledge and needle him for it.

The plot doesn't proceed in a typical mystery fashion; in fact, for the middle third of the film, I was wondering if they were really going to wrap things up the way they seemed to be. (Ah, trying to write about a mystery without spoilers.)

One watch check. The film ran 130 minutes when it could easily have been 110, though at the same time part of its languid pace allows the audience to ponder the moral complexity of the choices the characters have to make, and reminded me while watching of the paralysis I often feel when faced with those moments.

3:10 to Yuma (2007)

Satisfying that Young Guns-borne wish for horseback riding gangster good guys, this shoot-em-up Western fits the wanted poster. The kid is great, a very convincing young gun in training, and his gimp dad puts a face on war veterans that I have not seen much before. As a father, he wears his war experience much heavier than Tommy Lee Jones' Elah character did.

This movie is essentially about home ownership and the right to own land. It's spiriting in the subprime mortgage era. Yeeha!

Land of the Dead (2005)

This is a very dark movie, literally. I don't remember a peek of sunlight throughout it. It goes from nighttime to gray, cloudy skies, and back to nighttime. The zombies are pretty brutal and eat a lot of people, and they also learn to use weapons. The bad guys led by Dennis Hopper's character, depend on warriors for protection from the rotting fleshed masses.

It's bleak, but the context I saw this movie in -- projected on a wall in a crowded apartment, with breaks every 20 minutes to switch to the next downloaded section, and Japanese ads floating across the screen every now and then -- made it fairly light viewing. I was with a bunch of Mexicans, so the "cholo" name calling of John Leguizamo made an impression. The scene where zombies ford a river toward the wealthy downtown district inspired cries of "Rio Grande"! So, audiences don't always suck. Sometimes they make you warm cinnamon tea and and zesty Dorito's-Tapatío-lime juice-nachos with ice cream and beer to boot.

Like in real life, the "Rio Grande" is a moat protecting the rich. Outside the moat live some regular humans, like the warrior class and their families, in a fairly run down post-industrial environment. They don't have the money to actually live in the city. Curiously, the zombies, too, live in the suburbs. It's like the whole urban renewal movement succeeded, and the city is no longer the scary place. (I imagine Escape from New York represents the previous sentiment.)

The cacahuate gallery I watched with made it a fairly entertaining flick, but even on its own, the movie moves briskly. It's grittier than a lot of action movies I've seen. It's morally more interesting, as it does a convincing job of inspiring sympathy for the zombies while still depicting their disgusting methods.

I'd say this is definitely worth a download.

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

Given the potential of the concept, I only wish they'd taken the material somewhere darker -- things stay melancholic / whimsical in that post-Wes Anderson way, "offbeat" in the most inoffensive possible sense. Gosling's acting was good, although veering dangerously close to Tic City (that locale where a character is defined solely by their weird twitches). It is pretty impressive that he can do this, The Believer, and The Notebook equally convincingly.

One watch check, near the end, which definitely could have been streamlined.

I've also decided that I hate audiences in general. I was immensely irritated by the fact that several audience members were still laughing at the "doll is real" conceit, even at the end of the movie. Y'all have had two hours and change to get over it, people. Come on. Movies should be watched by robots.

Radiohead - In Rainbows (2007)

Ok, I'm probably one of the least qualified contributers to this site to give a proper review of music on this site given that my background is nil. Well, that's a lie, I enjoy karaoking every so often and singing during mass, I was in choir for a short stint during grade school. And I've been listening to music all my life for pleasure purposes, but I digress. The fact of the matter is, I can't give great details about transitions and such within the song and overall composition and other technical jargon, but I can say whether I liked it or not. So here I go:

Clocking in at about 43 minutes, I'll say this if the best 5 pence I've spent on music (link on entry title). Actually, the overall cost was 50p, with 45p going to transaction fees. You decide yourself how much you want to to pay. But me being the broke student, I only gave 5p, making the total cost to be about US$1.01 at the current exchange rate. Anyway, overall I like this album. The first time I listened through it, I was a little iffy about it, but the second time around, I began to like it more. And the more I listened to it, the more I appreciated the album as a whole.

I've always preferred the Bends and OK Computer over Pablo Honey, Kid A, and Hail to the Thief; and this album reminded me of the ones I liked. I totally loved singing along with "Karma Police" (Jon can back me up on that) and I can totally see myself doing that with the song "Nude". It's just really soothing to me. And "Faust Arp" has a good lyrical beat and also is mellow even though it is the shortest track at just over 2 minutes long. "House of Cards" also just seems to speak to me right now, I dunno why.

I highly recommend this album. But then again I'm biased since I'm a big Radiohead fan. However, going at a price that you set, you can't go wrong. I read somewhere that the average is about 5pounds-sterling for purchase (US$10), which I really wanted to do, but I'm poor. There's also a 40Pound option that includes the download along with a CD and vinyl copy of In Rainbows.

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

This is the biggest disappointment yet from Wes Anderson. The real problem isn't that he doesn't correct the things he's been doing wrong in the past (like making the same movie over and over and over...) but that he doesn't do well the things that he's done excellently in the past. Everything is here on the surface, neurotic characters, painstaking art direction, precious and obscure musical choices, dead pan comic delivery, and exotic locale, but there is a surprising lack of emotional depth. I think part of the problem is the lack of any real dramatic tension, and also the very real sense that you've seen this before and more or less know how it will turn out. Anderson always tries (and often succeeds) to get you to love seemingly unlovable characters, but he just falls flat here.

But my particular gripe with this film is the continuing problem of Anderson using people of color as props for working out his main characters problems. He went to the trouble of setting the movie in India, and obviously shooting quite a bit of it there. But nothing shows any insight into what kind of place India is, almost as if it could have been set in any "exotic foreign locale."

It's particularly irking that Anderson trys to show an awareness of his characters own ethnocentricity, but fails to recognize the films'. His characters expect to go to a far-away land and have a life-changing experience, though they make no effort to really experience India beyond their luxury train compartment. Anderson points that out as when Owen Wilson deadpans, "These people are beautiful, I love them," apparently oblivious to the fact that a group of Indian men are laughing at him. So the film is actually about people going away to a far-away land and NOT having a life changing experience. Though the storyline is flipped from a traditionally orientalist one, the underlying problem hasn't changed. India remains a mere tool for the characters' revelation, or lack thereof.

Anyway, the film definitely looks beautiful, i'll give it that. And i think one line get's it right, when Adrien Brody says that he love India's "spicy" smell. Word. Despite that and the hot train attendent lady, i can't recommend this one.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward John Ford (2007)

The character development of Jesse James' killer John Ford must be very interesting. In the first fifteen or so minutes of this film, the only part I saw, the "coward" Ford -- as the movie's extended title labels him -- is a wide-eyed doe of a boy living his adventure fantasies, robbing a train and escaping with Jesse James (Brad Pitt) and his gang. I imagine he becomes hardened and perhaps even bitter toward James by the time he kills him. Also in the first 15 or so minutes, James' brother leaves the gang, possibly foreshadowing Ford's eventual betrayal.

I saw this as a free screening, but did not arrive early enough to get a good seat, so I left. If anyone sees the rest, let me know if I'm right, thanks.

p.s. are Labels for losers? I don't think so.

Michael Clayton (2007)

I get to claim dibs because I saw it during its week of limited release.  If you're into corporate / legal drama (which I am), you'll LOVE it.

A lot like <i>Network</i> but, it's less polemical since you're less certain whether the stooge who has finally found moral clarity is sane or not, or what his motives exactly are.

And THE CAMERA ISN'T HAVING A SEIZURE which makes me happy.

You should see it in the theater so you can find out how long people are willing to stay through the closing shot.  That's the power of celebrity, baby.  (We watched the whole thing.)

And the winner is...

After watching the following quartet of films in the last two days:

1. All Things Fair (1995)
2. Private Property (2006)
3. Twentynine Palms (2003)
4. Lifeforce (1985)

The winning film, by a landslide, is 'Lifeforce'!!! Why? Why this whacked out post-Poltergeist Tobe Hooper 80's sci-fi film? Nay, not because it's better plotted nor is it better acted. Nay! The reason this 1.5-star (at best) mastersuck wins is because you get about 30+ lingering shots of French hottie Mathilda May's hoo-has and fur-tang! Nevermind the *exploding space vampires*, wretched over-acting by the notorious Steven Railsback, or hilarious shots of Patrick Stewart spewing blood that congeals into the shape of naked woman! What matters is that this is the film that I saw on cable at age 8 and was forever mesmerized by Ms May's lovely C-cup treasures. A boy lovingly scarred? Yes! But also a MAN REBORN into the comforting bosom of a NAKED SPACE VAMPIRE!!!

And if you're thinking this is some b-movie schlock hokum, it's not... like I said, this is some big-budget sci-fi/horror here... A lost work of art? Mayhaps in 30 years 'Lifeforce' and 'Innerspace' will receive the revisionist treatment of say, 'Howard the Duck'? Lea Thompson almost making out with a man-sized duck (aka midget in a duck suit)? Come on! Genius!

Therefore, I shun the other three Euro films with their emotional resonance (Private Property - Go Isabelle Hubbert, Go! Find me something she can't act the shit out of! I challenge thee!), life lessons (All Things Fair - As much as I admired the film, is it weird that I couldn't get over the fact the the director filmed his own son having sex naked? Wtf?), and pretentious allegorical operandis (Twentynine Palms - Oh, Bruno Dumont, how I wish I didn't think you were such a wanker!)

And CF, lemme just say that I could write a manifesto on Dumont's work (Any of you seen 'L'Humanite'? Talk about watch checks!) that would literally be a litany of self-gratifying abuse. That, or potentially 'I'd love to see Gaspar Noe, Bruno Dumont, and Catherine Breillet collaborate on the sequel to either 'Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle' or 'Mannequin 2'' and try and make them shocking and disturbing treatises on base human behavior! Dare I dream? Dare I?'

What does irk me though is that all three of those directors' films sound fascinating in concept but actually watching them blows some serious ace. It's just such a let-down when the movie in your mind of their films is exponentially more potent and incisive than what they actually put together... Sigh... Oh well...

Eastern Promises (2007)

Viggo Mortensen rules!

He can kill you with his eyes, Russian accent and oh yeah, his awe-inspiring fight techniques.

He will even fight you naked if you confront him in a bath house.

Just ask Naomi Watts!

However, even his bad assery is not enough for me to be completely won over with this movie.

The problem is not the acting, or the characters or even the story.

It's that the plot unravels too easily and without much surprise. I am that person who didn't know Bruce Willis was dead in the Sixth Sense until it was revealed.

Instead, we are spoon fed information and secrets, as if Cronenberg would rather us focus on other things like human trafficking and bastard babies.

Maybe I wasn't supposed to be tricked or left in the dark until the end. Either way, I was expecting that sort of twist and it never really happened.

Easter Promises is a great character study, with excellent performances and a chilling plot.

But you'll pretty much know what's next before it happens.

1408 (2007)

Oh Stephen King, why do people like you? How can they find you scary or even mildly entertaining?

OK, so you had me with the freaky clown in "It". But as soon as it turns out the thing is really a giant spider, I pretty much hated you.

Much like I hated this movie.

From now on, I must go with my instinct. No more of this "Premonition", "23", "Bug" shit. No more watching Ebert & Roeper, thinking someone might convince me that a movie I predict is going to suck might not.

I don't even want to talk about this movie because it's a waste of time.

It's not good.

Period.

High School Musical 2 (2007)

Ohhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiii --

You ever see this around, here's what you do: you skip to about the 60 or 65 minute mark and watch Zac Efron reach his turning point with one of the most awesomely bad Flashdance-on-a-golf-course routines in history (also, possibly the only one ever).

OMG. I haven't seen anything start so funny and just keep getting more and more hilarious over its five-minute length that wasn't from YouTube in years.

There's a couple other good songs too. Vast improvement.

EDIT: Ian found it! So, if you're watching this, it's another funny YouTube video. I don't know if you can feel the full Efron effect without watching the whole movie, but I think this should be more than enough to entice you to see it.

High School Musical (2006)

I had to see it. Even more jumbled and incoherent than I could have prepared for. There's a total of about 6 songs in this "musical," and it's extremely thin on logical lead-ins to them (my favorite is when VAH is just sitting around in total silence and then starts her lament about their nth-gen-recycled manufactured device that forces them apart). And oh man, Zac Efron's never living down that basketball number.

Interestingly, my taping of this movie (off the Disney Channel) was commercially uninterrupted for the first 30 minutes, like Schindler's List.

I have HSM2 on the ol' MythTV too, but...I'll have to watch like 20 art films to cleanse my palate.